As the release of Mice Don't Taste Like Chicken approaches, it's time to introduce some of Mr. Cross' classroom critters. Today's guests are Pinkies, Fuzzies, and Hoppers.
Scott: Mr. Hopper, could you please share with our readers the difference between pinkies, fuzzies, and you?
Hopper: I'd be hoppy to! Pinkies, also called kittens, are cocktail weenie-looking babies of white mice. They earn their name from their pink color before their fur grows in. Fuzzies are pinkies with hair and a little larger size. Me, I'm so grown up I hop and race around so reaching 6th grader hands can't catch me.
Scott: How do you spend your time when you're not evading 6th grade grabbing hands?
Hopper: Chewing.....exploring......chewing.....leaving droppings.....chewing....you know, same as any other normal mouse.
Scott: Other species have names to identify males and females. What do you call a male mouse and a female mouse?
Fuzzy: Oo-oo! I know this one! I'm a boy, so I'm called a buck. My pinky sister over there is a doe. We're like miniature deer, but with much longer tails.
Scott: Does it anger you when someone picks you up by the tail like this (*scoop*)?
Fuzzy: Hey, cut it out! Put me down! You should never pick up a mouse by its tail. The end could fall off.
Scott: (*plop*) I apologize, I had no idea. One final question for today. If mice don't taste like chicken, then exactly how do they taste?
Hopper: I'll answer this one. Our people were once fried and cooked long ago to cure human ailments like smallpox, whooping cough, measles, stomachaches, and even bed-wetting. Not to mention our place on the food chain in Mr. Cross' classroom. I'll respectfully decline an answer as I want no allusions to our tastiness that we might suffer these same fates in the future.
Scott: Well, I appreciate your time. And now, if you'd please stop gnawing on the microphone, I'll bid you a good day.
Pinkies, Fuzzies, and Hoppers:
Born a blind, pink cocktail wiener,
Nothing sadder has ever been seener,
But when fuzzy I become, I scamper and hop,
Good luck trying to catch me, cause I’ll never stop!
"Live, Learn, Teach"